“I thought you would take over the department back home. When did
moving come up?”
“Yesterday I overheard someone say that if the company bought my plan
I would get the new office that had just been finished. Two
secretaries were talking in the ladies room while I was there. I just
stayed in the stall until they left. See how gossip can help?”
“If we move can I go to Capitol High? They have the best debating
coach in the state.”
“I thought you would be upset about moving and you already have a
school picked out. Don’t be disappointed if I don’t get the job.”, Mom
said and gave me a peck on the cheek as she left the table to get
dressed.
“I won’t be disappointed; you’ll knock them dead this morning. Good
thing I was on the debating team last year; one of the things I had to
learn was to remember what the opposition had said earlier in the
debate so I could use it later. I’ll soak up all the gossip I hear
like a tape recorder.”
Mom’s presentation went off like clockwork. She gave her talk as if
she were discussing the household budget with me at home. After the
talk she fielded the questions and gave short concise answers that
were to the point. The hours of practice with me asking the most
ridiculous questions I could dream up paid off. Everyone paid
attention to her and when she finished all I heard was admiration for
Mom.
Later that afternoon we got the news; Mom was promoted to direct the
new department and we would be moving in two weeks. It took a few
minutes for the enormity of what we faced to sink in our head. We had
to sell a house, get our things moved, and find a new place to live.
Every minute counted and we decided to cut short our stay and return
home immediately.
Mom got on the phone and I started packing our bags. She had a party
to attend that evening but figured she could leave about nine without
offending anyone so she booked us out on a flight at ten.
She called her old boss to give him the news personally. They talked
for a few minutes and from Mom’s side of the conversation I gathered
he was taking the promotion well. She asked for a phone number of a
Real Estate Agent who had been a classmate and when she hung up dialed
his number. She made an appointment for early the next day. We would
have a busy Saturday.
Sunday morning I woke up before Mom and put together a breakfast tray
for the two of us. Mom woke up when I set the tray down and said, “No
long stemmed roses?”
“My allowance isn’t big enough to cover roses; you’ll have to settle
for breakfast in bed.”
Little did I know that I was starting something that would become a
tradition. Saturday or Sunday mornings of breakfast in bed followed by
a long session of unhurried lovemaking. Afterward we would shower and
then have long talks about whatever crossed our minds. There was never
a hint of adult/child conversations, just two people exploring their
differences or saying what was on their mind. We saved sensitive or
difficult problems for these mornings for it is hard to get upset with
someone when you have just shared the most intimate of pleasures. This
morning, as we sat in the kitchen, Mom started talking about our trip
and how she had felt giving her talk.
“Paul, I want to thank you for helping me. Thursday I was wound up
tight and worried sick about Friday’s meeting. You had the right
medicine to calm my jitters. When Mom gets up tight screw her silly.”,
she laughed.
“Watch out Mom, a teenager gets horny easily.”, I joked in return.
“Don’t I know it. Seriously, you gave me the weapon I needed to put my
presentation across the next morning. When you asked about your Dad
you made me think about him and when I was if front of that room full
of men I just imagined each of them as a copy of him. I wasn’t afraid
of them in the least. Thank you for that.”
“I thought you were magnificent up there. When that one guy tried to
trip you up with irrelevant questions you took him apart.”
“I have an enemy there but I noticed most people seemed upset when he
asked a question and smiled when I took him down. I’ll have to keep an
eye on him in the future.”
“I noticed most of the men had an eye on you and it wasn’t for what
you were saying. It made me a little jealous and a lot proud at the
same time.”
“Paul, you don’t have to worry about me; thoughts of you fill my every
waking moment.”
TO BE CONTINUED
From jimfix@earthlink.net Fri Apr 04 02:04:44 1997
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories
Subject: – A Summer Romance M/F inc con rom Part 2 of 2
From: jimfix@earthlink.net (Jim Fix)
Date: Fri, 04 Apr 1997 06:04:44 GMT
——–
A Summer Romance Revisited
Note: This story is a follow-on of “A Summer Romance” and is pure
fiction, a figment of my imagination.
I don’t think Mom had the last month in mind when she said, “Paul, you
don’t have to worry about me; thoughts of you fill my every waking
moment.” The tasks of moving occupied every waking second. If I
thought of Mom it was to wonder what she would do in this situation.
If ever anyone wants to go through pure torture, try selling a house,
buying a house, and moving all at once! Poor Mom had to learn a new
job, set up a new department, and take care of all the things that
required an adult’s attention for our move. I stayed at our old house
to oversee the packing and moving. When faced with a decision that Mom
was supposed to make I would stretch the truth a little and say that I
had talked to Mom and do what I thought she would want done or what I
thought was proper. Some of the papers that she was supposed to sign
had forgeries of her signature. Somehow everything happened on time.
The realtor found a buyer for our old house and when everything went
into escrow I moved to Capitol City with Mom. She had settled in a
hotel suite and was going through the mechanics of looking for a house
when I arrived. We had one little problem; we couldn’t put a down
payment on a house until the sale on our old one was final.
Hotel living isn’t bad for a little while but you miss the little
things like raiding the fridge at midnight. Mom’s company was paying
the bills but even the nicest hotel can’t replace home. A two-room
suite is not home.
Mom had been looking for a new house but had had no luck so far. The
Saturday after I arrived an agent drove us around several
neighborhoods that was close to Capitol High. The houses were nice but
none really rung our bell. We had lunch and the agent said she had two
more houses to show us before the day was over. We agreed and tiredly
trekked out to her car for what seemed like a fruitless search. The
first house didn’t seem right for us and the agent asked us to bear
with her and look at her last offering.
She drove to a small side street that dead-ended in a cul-de-sac with
a circle at the end. On the circle was a nice ranch style house that
captured us when we walked inside. This place seemed like home without
any furniture inside. It was a nice four-bedroom home with a large
backyard. There was an old oak tree to shade the yard and a high fence
all around to give privacy. Inside was a large country kitchen with a
breakfast nook and a living room/dining room combination. The master
bedroom had a private bath with a huge sunken tub. When Mom looked at
the bath she gave me a mischievous wink and a wicked smile. Pictures
of us in the bathtub flashed through my mind. I hoped the agent wasn’t
a mind reader.
Events took a normal course and two weeks before school started we
moved into our new house. Mom was there the day the movers delivered
our things and dictated where the furniture was placed. Unpacking and
putting all the small things away fell to me with Mom giving me
instructions each day after work. The first weekend we got most things
straight and the last week before school I spent working on the yard
and shrubs.
There was one major problem; Mom and I had little time for ourselves
and I was in an advanced state of deprivation. Mom got home late
Friday night and the next morning I let her sleep as late as possible.
I had a surprise in mind and I didn’t want her to wake up before I had
set things up.
I got up early and walked to the local florist to buy roses. When I
got home I quietly put the vase of roses on her nightstand and left to
wait for her to wake up. While I was waiting I made coffee and put
together a breakfast tray.
A quiet cup of coffee filled the time while I waited. Warm, pleasant
thoughts of a quiet morning filled with soft touches and hot flesh
pressed against hot flesh filled my thoughts. The past month had been
nothing but busy work and little time for anything except a hasty romp
that was over in minutes. Mom had spoiled me to the pleasures of
fulfillment interspersed intervals of loving foreplay while I
recharged my battery followed by more erotic pleasure. She
could be
quite imaginative about sex and I, in my inexperience, learned
everything she wanted to try with enthusiasm. In a couple of weeks I
would be fifteen and I was still a little awestruck by our
relationship. One lesson I was learning; little touches such as
breakfast in bed on weekends appealed to Mom’s romantic side and when
she was in a romantic mood she was all the woman I could desire. I
hoped the addition of roses this morning would make a memorable
impression for our first free weekend in our new house.
I was startled as a pair of arms coming out of nowhere engulfed me
from behind in a bear hug. Mom had sneaked up on me as I was
daydreaming and now I was being attacked by a very affectionate woman.
The roses had worked!
Mom noticed the breakfast tray on the table and asked, “What have I
done to earn roses and breakfast in bed?”
“It’s what you are going to do to earn them.”, I replied adding a
wicked laugh.
“Oh shit, am I going to have to spend the whole day on my back?”
“No, you can get on top sometimes.”
Mom moved around in front of me and sat astride my lap facing me. She
pulled my tee shirt out of my jeans and put her hands underneath
gently caressing my bare skin. Her warm hands made my skin prickle and
I could see goose bumps pop up on my arms. A lingering good morning
kiss gave me warm fuzzy feelings all over.
We nuzzled and kissed as we shared my cup of coffee. There was no
rush; we had the whole day with nothing special to do except love each
other. I had learned patience, among other things, from her. Sexually
I was a tabla rasa and she was teaching me what pleased her. As I
discovered what I liked she happily accommodated me. My mother was
still present but the woman she was grew into our relationship as the
days passed. I was becoming attuned to her emotional and physical
needs and my efforts to fulfill them were repaid fourfold as she
responded in kind.
“A penny for your thoughts.”, Mom said and snapped me back to the here
and now.
“I was just thinking how much we have changed this summer.”
“What are your thoughts about the changes?”
“I feel like I have found another person to care for. I am learning
that there is much more to loving someone than I ever imagined.”
“I guess we are both learning that lesson in more ways than one. Would
you like to share a breakfast in bed with me?”
“Only if I get to clean up the crumbs.”
Laughing in remembrance of the last time I had served her breakfast
she replied, “Would you like for me to stir up one of my special
omelets for you?”
“Don’t overcook it; I like my omelets moist.”
I followed her to our bedroom carrying the tray and in moments we were
lying naked side by side. I took her in my arms and tried to make love
to her but she resisted, laughing and giggling all the while. Mom was
strong enough to win our wrestling matches every time we played at
mock rape. The longer I wrestled with her the more aroused she became
but she wouldn’t give up. I had discovered a simple way to end them,
flop on my back and feign exhaustion. This morning was no exception;
she climbed astride me and lowered herself on my erect penis wiggling
and thrusting until she had enveloped my entire length.
Neither of us had much endurance the first time we made love. Mom
started off with slow rocking movements but soon lost control and
mimicked a demented horsewoman in a foxhunt. In seconds I could not
only hear her cries of ecstasy I could feel the involuntary
contractions deep inside her. Then I lost control and flooded her with
semen as my orgasm overtook me in waves. Afterward Mom covered my face
with wet sloppy kisses as she came down to earth.
“God, I needed that Paul.”
“So did I.”, I replied.
There is an intimacy like no other that a man and a woman share after
making love. Only the moment is important and nothing intrudes from
the outside world to dilute the love and tenderness exchanged by
touch, by body language, and by words. We are most vulnerable and most
receptive in those few moments when all our desires are satisfied.
This is the time when love between two people can be deepened and
expanded or destroyed. Unspoken messages are as important as words and
sometimes change the meanings of the words themselves.
Mom sat up remaining astride me and took a croissant from the tray.
She tore off a piece and began to feed me. She arranged the pillows
behind my head so that I sat in a semi-reclining position before she
poured a single cup of coffee. She offered me a sip before taking one
herself. Still coupled from lovemaking we shared unselfishly the
sweetness of the roll and the bitterness of the coffee. A mangled
quotation crossed my mind, “We tasted the sweet fruit of happiness,
drank from the dark cup of despair, but loved each other all the
more.”
An emotion more powerful than any I had felt before swept through me
and unbidden, tears began to flow down my cheeks. I had never
understood how anyone could be so happy they could cry, not until this
moment. Mother or not, I loved this woman in her entirety, her good
points and her warts. Damn conventions, damn taboos, and damn anyone
or anything that tried to stand between us.
Mom noticed my tears and asked, “Is something wrong Paul?”, a note of
concern in her voice.
“Nothing’s wrong; everything’s so right. I’m just so happy I can’t
help crying. I love you so much and I don’t know how to tell you.”
For a moment I thought I had said something wrong. Mom’s face screwed
up in a tight expression and her eyes brimmed with tears. With jerky
motions like a robot she set the cup back on the tray and then fell on
my chest hugging me so tight I found it hard to breathe. She buried
her face in the hollow of my neck and cried. In a few moments she
regained control of herself and gave me a salty kiss.
“Paul, I’ve sometimes worried that what is happening between us was
just a physical attraction, me from my loneliness and you from the
raging desires of a young man maturing. You just put my doubts to
rest.”
Later we sat out back under the oak tree and enjoyed the freedom of a
private backyard. Our old house had a small patch of grass and no
fence. Here there were no houses behind us. There was a narrow stand
of trees that bordered a flood channel. There was a green belt of
trees and tangled underbrush between us and our neighbors on either
side. A path from our back gate led to the flood channel where the
trails indicated that people used it for jogging and walking their
dogs. Only a helicopter could violate our privacy.
Mom seemed to come out of a period of thought and said, “Paul, we need
some lawn furniture back here and a hammock. Don’t you think so?”
We had put a couple of lawn chairs out back and the yard did look
empty. “Yes, it would be nice to sit out here under the tree in the
shade.”
“I like the privacy we have here. At our old house everyone could tell
what brand of soda you were drinking. Like to go shopping for a few
things to make the yard comfortable and have a hamburger for lunch?”
“Can we afford it after all the expense of the move?”, I asked.
“Ever make love in a hammock?”
“No.” Mom’s response was totally out of character and had me
mystified.
“Neither have I and I want to try it.”
Visions of the two of us in a hammock flickered through my mind’s eye
like a movie. We had just finished making love but my imagination
brought me to a state of high arousal. My shorts stood out in front
with a painful erection. I adjusted things to get a little more
comfortable when Mom noticed my condition.
“Thinking about the hammock?”, she asked laughing. To my complete
surprise she stood up and slid her shorts and panties down around her
ankles and stepped out of them. “I’ve always wanted to make love
outdoors; care to try it?”, she said lying down on the grass.
Not to be outdone, I stripped off my shorts and joined her. She pushed
me over on my back and climbed on top saying, “The grass tickles my
butt; you take the bottom.”
Our lovemaking was short and sharp. When it was over we lay together
in the shade of the tree and kissed. After a few moments reality
returned and Mom said, “We are going to have to get locks for the
gates; what if the gas man came to read the meter?”
“I guess we could wish him a good day.”, I said joking.
“He would have a story to tell his buddies at work wouldn’t he?”
“Mom, you’re weird; you pick strange places to make love.”
“You can bet on that and what’s weirder is who I have for a partner. I
guess I just like men less than half my age. Want to take a shower
with me before we go shopping?”
After lunch we shopped for lawn furniture. It was late in the season
and most stores had little on display. After searching through several
shopping centers we spotted a giant hardware store and decided to get
locks for the gates. To our surprise they
had a large display of
outdoor furniture. We decided on a table with chairs, a chaise lounge,
and a double hammock. Mom made arrangements for delivery Monday
morning.
When we returned home I installed the locks on both gates. We could be
certain now that no unexpected visitors would barge in on us. After a
full day we rewarded ourselves with dinner at a nice restaurant and a
movie.
Mom woke me early on Sunday morning. She was already dressed in her
running clothes. “Get out of bed and get dressed; we need to get back
in shape.”, she said.
“Do we have to?”, I grumbled, barely awake.
“We haven’t had a good run since we moved. I feel fat and sitting
behind a desk all day doesn’t help. Stay in bed if you want but I am
going to have a long run before it gets hot.”
“Give me a minute and I’ll get up.”, I replied.
“I’ll wait for you in the kitchen. Want a cup of coffee first?”
I stumbled out of bed and did a quick number in the bathroom. In a few
minutes I joined Mom in the kitchen for a fast cup of coffee. She
chattered on about getting fat and how she had gotten out of shape in
the past weeks. I made attentive sounds at the right places and
generally let her conversation flow by me.
We did our stretches in the backyard and then walked out to the flood
channel. There was a bridge about a half-mile in one direction and Mom
suggested that for our first run we go to the bridge and back. Running
to the bridge was easy; coming back was hard. We were both huffing and
puffing in the last quarter-mile. We limped into the backyard
streaming sweat and puffing like asthmatic steam engines.
Mom ran the big bathtub full of hot water and after showering off the
sweat we slid into the hot water for a soak. We learned two things; we
were sadly out of shape and never try to make love underwater.
After breakfast we sat in the backyard and worked hard at having a
lazy morning. Mom talked about the new lawn furniture and how she
wanted it arranged. I had learned to accede to her wishes when it came
to where a chair or table belonged; it was an argument I never won.
After a while the conversation ran down and we sat quietly immersed in
our separate thoughts. The grass in spot where we had make love
yesterday was still packed down and as I stared at it I thought about
Mom’s comment about the gas man. I could imagine the look on a
stranger’s face if he were confronted by the sight of a teenager and a
thirtyish woman rolling in the grass together. Unbidden, laughter
bubbled up and I began to laugh out loud.
Mom looked at me as if I were losing my mind and asked, “Care to share
the joke?”
When I managed to control myself I answered, “I just noticed the grass
that we packed down yesterday and was thinking about your comment on
the gas man. I was trying to imagine someone’s expression if they
actually caught us.”
Mom had a short chuckle before she commented, “It was fun wasn’t it?”
“I want to try the hammock; that’s what got me stirred up yesterday.”
“It’ll be here tomorrow; perhaps we should christen it tomorrow
evening Paul.”
“What made you think of making love in a hammock Mom?”
“An incident that happened when I was a teenager. Want to hear about
it?”
“I’m all ears.”
“One night it was too hot to sleep in my room so I decided to go out
to the backyard where it was cooler and try sleeping in a lounge
chair. I dozed off for a while and was awakened by someone whispering
in the yard next door. When I listened for a few seconds I realized it
was my girlfriend next door and her boyfriend. The conversation was
very interesting and my curiosity got the best of me. I wanted to see
what was going on so I quietly got up and slipped over to the hedge
that divided our yards. There was just enough light for me to see two
people in a hammock. I couldn’t see any details but from their
positions I knew they were doing some heavy necking.”
“Watching and listening to them got me excited. As I watched the
couple I got so excited that I put my hand into my pants and began to
play with myself. As I sat there with my fingers in my pants they got
out of the hammock, undressed, and climbed back in to make love. I
crouched there in the dark and fantasized that I was the girl in the
hammock. Just about the time I was about to have an orgasm the light
on the back porch came on and the girl’s father came outside and
caught them. While he was yelling at them I had an incredible orgasm.”
“Afterward when I would masturbate I would picture the scene in the
backyard to heighten my excitement. I guess every teenager uses
something to make the experience more intense. Didn’t you?”
Mom’s question caught me by surprise and I could feel my face flush in
embarrassment. She was looking at me with a sly smile on her face as
if she knew a secret. I couldn’t think of a thing to say when Mom
said, “I know that you used to masturbate. I’ve told you about me and
like two curious little kids I’ve shown you mine will you show me
yours?”, and followed her question with a laugh.
This is a difficult subject to talk about with your mother, even a
mother like mine, but I gathered my thoughts and answered, “I had an
old magazine of Dad’s that I used to look at in the bathroom.”
“Did you ever have fantasies about me?”
It was easier to talk after my first admission so I just told the
truth, “Yes, I did. I would recall memories of times when I had seen
you without all your clothes on or times when you had been careless
after a bath.”
“Would a confession from your Mom shock you?”
“Probably not but it might surprise me.”
“I knew about your little sessions in the bathroom. I heard you in
there one day and I didn’t know if I should say anything or not. As I
thought about what I should do I found myself so aroused I had to go
play with myself for relief. One day when I was cleaning your room I
found your magazine and as I leafed through it I imagined you looking
at the same pictures as you sat in the bathroom. I had a lovely time
as I lay on your bed intoxicated by your smell on the pillow.
Afterward, when I got a chance, I would lay on your bed and let my
imagination run free as I played with myself. See what a terrible
woman your Mom is?”
“That reminds me of the morning when I had my accident on your panties
at Uncle Ben’s cabin. When I was getting dressed I found your panties
laying in the hamper. When I examined them I discovered that you had
been almost as excited as I was. The smell on your panties excited me
also.”
Mom had a short laugh at my admission and silence fell as she seemed
to get lost in her thoughts. Finally she asked, “Are you ever sorry we
started?”
“No, I’m sorry we didn’t find each other earlier. Think of all the
time we lost.”
“Paul, perhaps it was straightforward and simple for you but I had to
unlearn a few things first. I guess we had to fall in love in the
boy/girl sense before it was appropriate for us to take the final
step. In any event, all I want is for us to be happy; God knows we’ve
had enough unhappiness.”
“Mom I know I’m happy when I wake up with you at my side and when the
day is over I feel content with you lying beside me all warm and
loving. I don’t quite know how to say this but if we remained apart
our desire would have caused problems between us. One thing is
certain, I’ve grown up a lot this summer.”
“I can vouch for that. I don’t know what I would have done if you
hadn’t handled the other end of the move at our old house. That was a
great piece of work and you made me proud to be your Mom. I think we
have both done some growing up and I am beginning to appreciate what a
wonderful man you have become.”
We were interrupted by the telephone ringing. Mom got up and went
inside to answer it. In a few minutes she returned. “I have to go to
the office and finish a report. I was supposed to have it done
Wednesday but the meeting has been moved up to tomorrow. Want to come
along and give me a hand or would you rather stay here?”
“If I can be any help I’ll go with you.”, I answered.
“This is right up your alley, lots of number crunching.”
Mom called her secretary, Debbie, and we picked her up on our way to
the office. The three of us spent the rest of the day and part of the
night putting the finishing touches on Mom’s report. It was almost
nine when Debbie finished typing the final copy.
“Is everyone as hungry as I am?”, Mom asked.
“The sandwiches we had for lunch ran out around six.”, I replied.
“What about you?”, Mom asked Debbie.
“I could eat a cow.”
“Know a good place to go at this hour Debbie?”, Mom asked.
“Chinese, Mexican, or American?”
“You choose; it all sounds good.”, Mom answered.
Debbie directed us to a nice Mexican restaurant where the headwaiter
seated us at a quiet table where we could talk. The food was delicious
and Debbie had a couple
of margaritas during the meal. We were so
hungry that there was little conversation until we had finished
eating. When the table was cleared Mom ordered fresh drinks and
everyone relaxed.
“Debbie, thanks for helping me get that report out. I’m sorry I ruined
your Sunday off.”
“It was nothing; I didn’t have anything to do anyway.”
“It was still nice of you to come out and help me anyway.”
“I knew you would be calling me sometime this weekend.”
“How’s that again?”, Mom asked.
“Can you keep a secret?”, Debbie asked.
“If you want me to.”
“Remember John, the guy you took apart when you made your original
proposal? His secretary and I go out for breakfast on Sunday mornings.
This morning she told me that John knew about the schedule change
Friday and was supposed to tell you then. My friend asked me if I had
to work yesterday and when I told her I hadn’t we put two and two
together. John waited until today to tell you hoping you would screw
up. He calls you ‘That woman from the hick town’ behind your back. My
friend and I are both angry about this. All the secretaries want to
see you make good; you’re the first woman to get this high in the
company. If you do well it opens doors for us.”
“I knew he was my enemy but I never thought he would be this open with
his hostility. Thanks for the heads up and Paul thanks for the help;
without you we would still be working at the office.”
“It’s OK Mom.”
Debbie looked at me for a few seconds before she said, “Paul, I’m
amazed at how much work you did on the report. You’re pretty smart and
good looking too.”
I blushed all the way to my hair. “Thanks.”, I managed to stammer.
After we dropped Debbie off we went straight home and fell into bed
exhausted. I slept like the dead until I heard Mom stirring around the
bedroom the next morning. I got up and made coffee while she got ready
for work. We had a quick cup before she left and I kissed her goodbye
and wished her luck.
After Mom left I decided to take a morning run. It was a nice morning,
cool with a light breeze, and I set out up the flood channel. I ran
past the bridge just exploring. When I turned around and began my run
home I passed a man running the opposite direction. He gave me a
friendly wave and we continued on our way.
This was my last day before school and I would have to get up earlier
if I was to continue taking a run in the morning. I’d have to get Mom
out of bed earlier if she ran with me. That might prove to be a
problem for many mornings when I woke her up earlier than usual she
was in an amorous mood. Now that was a problem few kids my age had.
As I ran thoughts of those mornings drifted through my mind. Mom slept
in only a short nightgown, no panties and no bra. I slept in the
altogether. When I woke Mom up we would usually hug and kiss. I could
imagine my morning erection pressing into the coarse hair between her
legs and the excitement that caused me. Things usually progressed from
playful pokes and dodges of a playful mock rape to frantic lovemaking.
Maybe I had better rethink that part about Mom waking up in an amorous
mood and accept some of the responsibility myself. I arrived at the
back gate with the front of my sweatpants standing out. It would be a
long day waiting for Mom to get home.
At nine-thirty the deliverymen arrived and dropped off our lawn
furniture. It was only a matter of thirty minutes or so and they had
everything assembled and left. I arranged things the way Mom and I had
discussed or better yet; the way she had told me to put things. She
had a good eye for the arrangement looked as if it belonged under the
tree and invited you to sit down and relax.
I went inside to get a drink and heard the Postman put our mail in the
box. I got the mail and fanned through the stack. There was a letter
from Marcie that had been forwarded from our old address. I took the
letter and my drink and went out back to lie in the hammock.
Marcie’s letter was newsy and full of tidbits about the lake. Her
family had moved back to their home in town and she was getting ready
for school. She said she missed me at the Saturday dances and wondered
why I hadn’t written her all summer.
I lay back and thought about the few days we had spent together and
the dance where I had met her. Until now I had been so busy I hadn’t
had time to think of her or the vacation at the lake. As I remembered
the dance and Marcie in my arms I found to my surprise that I was
getting excited. What was the matter with me? Didn’t I love Mom? When
I had thought about Mom this morning I had gotten excited and now when
I thought about Marcie I was excited again. How could that be? A
guilty feeling fell over me like a shroud.
I continued to chase one thought after another and find a rational
explanation for my feelings. I thought of the worn magazine I had
looked at before and as I pictured the naked women inside I grew even
more aroused. Ever so slowly I gained a new insight into male
psychology; anything sexual aroused us. My guilty feelings abated
somewhat as this new idea sunk into my head. Thinking about something
and acting on the thought were two different things.
Good manners required that I answer Marcie’s letter and what better
time than now? I got a pad and pen and wrote a long letter explaining
what had happened during the summer since we had visited the lake. Ben
had invited us back the next summer and I told her I would see her
then. I promised to write her as soon as I got settled in my new
school and had some new news. Finally I signed the long rambling
letter and decided to mail it and grab a fast food lunch.
Mom came home looking like the cat that ate the canary. Debbie had
come in early and made bound copies of her report. When the meeting
started there was surprise and consternation all over John’s face.
Laying in front of him was Mom’s report and sitting across the table
was Mom looking fresh and beautiful. He had expected to see a tired
and harassed woman with a poorly prepared document. Mom said she gave
him a sparkling smile.
As she told me this she was changing clothes in our bedroom. As I
watched her undress the excitement I had felt earlier today came back
with a vengeance. When she was stripped to bra and panties I stepped
up behind her, unhooked her bra, and cupped both breasts in my hands.
Mom relaxed and leaned back against me. I could feel the tension drain
from her body as I held her close. “How did you know exactly what I
needed?”, she asked.
“Because I’ve needed you all day long.”, I replied.
Much later as we lay intimately together basking in the afterglow of
love fulfilled I thought back to earlier that day when the memory of
Marcie aroused me. I felt nothing for her now. The real woman here
with me now was all that I wanted. On impulse I told Mom what had
happened and how I had felt about it.
She laughed and gave me a quick little hug before replying, “Paul,
sometimes I forget that you are new to the game of love. In most
respects you are as mature as any adult but when it comes to the
emotions you have a little way to go. You were correct when you
concluded that thoughts were only that, just thoughts. There is no
infidelity in a passing thought; dwelling on a thought can become an
obsession and eventually cause problems. Acting on a passing desire is
a violation of your lover’s trust. Men are more easily aroused than
women but we do have thoughts just like you did today occasionally. I
will probably have them at times but they will pass and I will still
love you just as much as before.”
“Thanks Mom, I feel much better now.”
“You should; we’ve just made a terrible mess of the bed!”
The next morning it was back to school with all new teachers and new
students. It took a couple of weeks until I was settled in and didn’t
feel like an outsider. When the tryouts for the debating team were
scheduled I signed up. Mom spent many hours helping me practice for my
first debate. When my day came I managed to hang on through the first
round. Capitol High had a large student body and the competition was
intense. I would have been a shoo-in at my old school but here I was
just another hopeful.
Over the two week period of selecting the team Mom and I would lay in
the hammock and argue the fine points of my next subject. We learned
two things; the hammock was a great place to cuddle but a terrible
place to make love. Mom got over her childhood fantasy and I got some
excellent private coaching. Thanks to Mom’s help I made the final cut
and was on the team.
As the year progressed I gained confidence and skill. I moved up
through the ranks and was moved to third position on the team. My
grades suffered at first but by the end of the first semester I was an
honor student again. Capitol High was a tough school in academics.
The gentleman I saw while running that morning so long ago turned out
to be the track coach. After we got
to know each other we ran together
almost every morning. He asked me to come out for trials for the track
team in the spring. Mom started running with his wife as Coach and I
began to run longer and longer distances. Our winters are mild and it
seldom snows so by the time track season started I was in excellent
shape.
I am tall and slim so Coach decided that I would make a good distance
runner. In a sprint I was slow and got my feet tangled up. I finally
settled on the mile as my main event and occasionally competed in the
five mile cross country.
Capitol High hosted the first meet of the season and Mom took time off
to see me run. She sat in the stands with the coach’s wife and Betty
explained the events. When my heat came up I could see Mom waving from
the stands. When the gun went off I fell into my best pace and began
to get rid of my butterflies. Soon I was focused on the race and
forgot about the crowd in the stands. The mile is three-quarters
running at a fixed pace and then at the very end the real race begins.
The strategy is to keep the leaders in sight while conserving enough
energy for a final burst of speed or “kick”. Four laps and fifty yards
around a football field and it’s all over. Somewhere during the final
lap the real race begins and I was feeling good. About halfway through
the final lap I could see that I was gaining on the leaders and I
began to bear down a little harder. The distance began to close and
when we hit the final fifty yards I was running flat out. I couldn’t
tell you if I finished the race or not for darkness fell over me and
the next thing I remember was people picking me up and helping me back
to the bench. It was several minutes before I could understand what
everyone was trying to tell me; I had placed third in my first
competitive race. I would get to run in the finals tomorrow.
That night Coach and Betty invited Mom and I out for dinner. Mom was
on cloud nine. She was always proud of my grades but I never suspected
that she would get so worked up over sports. We went to an Italian
restaurant and Coach ordered dinner for me. When I saw the amount of
pasta on my plate I wondered if he had lost his mind. He explained
that I had to refuel for tomorrow’s race and pasta was an easy way to
restore energy. He told Mom what to fix for my breakfast and lunch,
both very light meals.
The dinner became a celebration of sorts and everyone was in a light
and bubbly mood. Betty told us how Mom had almost ran from the stands
when I passed out at the end of the race. Coach explained to her that
many times when a distance runner has put out his best effort they
pass out from anoxia; they have simply run so hard that they have used
up all their oxygen reserves. He said that the worst that could happen
to me was that I would get a cinder burn from falling down.
Coach and I talked more about tomorrow’s race while Betty and Mom
chatted amiably; I could see that Mom had discovered a friend in
Betty. I knew she needed someone besides me to talk to and share
confidences; Betty and Mom seemed to have connected in an easy
familiarity. Coach and Betty were nice people and we were lucky to
have them as our neighbors.
The party broke up and Coach ordered me to bed early. I had to get as
much sleep as possible before tomorrow’s race. When we got home I
immediately went to bed. I was full of pasta and tired from a grueling
day. Mom put on a sexy nightgown before she came to bed.
“Want a little reward for today?”, she asked.
“I’m sorry Mom; Coach said that we had to stay away from our
girlfriends tonight.”
“Here I am all excited over your race today and you can’t touch your
girlfriend; I guess that includes amorous mothers. I don’t know if I
like this or not; watching you run today got me all worked up.”, she
joked.
“Maybe tomorrow night you will have more reasons to give me a reward.”
“I guess I can wait that long; does the coach have anything against a
kiss goodnight from a horny mother?”
“No, he didn’t mention anything about that.” I pulled Mom close and
gave her a resounding kiss. I almost lost my resolve during that kiss
but managed to pull away before things progressed too far.
Saturday night was a time for celebration. When I placed second for
the meet Betty said Mom jumped up and down and cheered like a teenage
girl. She almost ran out of the stands and on the field to
congratulate me. An obviously embarrassed Mom jokingly tried to
downplay her excitement.
Mom invited Coach and Betty to have dinner at a new restaurant she had
learned about at work. This place was very nice and intimate. The
steaks were about an inch thick and the food was prepared to please
the eye and the palate. After the light meals and the race I did
justice to everything edible in sight.
When we got home after dinner I was alone with an insatiable woman. I
had never seen my Mom like this. A fifteen year old has the ability to
have sex again and again but that night I couldn’t hold a candle to
Mom. The events of the past two days had pumped me up but Mom was on a
high that was light years beyond mine. Her excitement had translated
into desire and focused on me. After I had exhausted myself I just lay
beside her and held her in my arms. I fell asleep listening to her
babble on about how proud she was to be my mother.
Mom became my biggest fan and attended every meet that I entered. She
got over her emotional demonstrations to the point where she didn’t
need restraint to keep her off the field but she still yelled and
jumped up and down. When we went out of town she would drive to where
ever the meet was held and take Betty with her for company. Betty and
Mom would have their meals with us and they soon became ex-officio
members of the team. Some of the boys teased me about Mom but most
thought it “neat” that she had that much interest in me and our team.
When we traveled to my old home town for one of our last track meets
of the season Mom and I got a big shock; my Dad called our hotel and
left a message for me. He wanted to meet me when I had some free time.
I had to talk to Mom and I found her and Betty in Mom’s room. When I
asked to talk to Mom privately Betty excused herself and told Mom she
would see her later.
After Berry left I blurted out, “I got a message from Dad.”
Mom was quiet for a moment or two and then asked, “What did it say?”
“He wants to see me when I have some free time.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. What do you think I should do?”
“This is something you have to decide for yourself. If you don’t see
him you will wonder what he is like today and if you do see him it
might dredge up old memories that will be hard to put to rest. Why not
call him and talk to him before you make a decision?”
“That’s a good idea.”, I replied.
There were two phone numbers on the message slip and the first was
evidently his house and I got no answer. The second number was his
work phone and when someone answered I asked for my Dad. There was a
few seconds before he picked up the phone and I got a case of nerves
while I waited. Finally a voice said, “Hello.”
I recognized his voice immediately and I gulped once before I said,
“Hi Dad.” After the greetings we both had to search for words to say
to each other. Finally he invited me to come over to his job and meet
his co-workers. He said he had been clipping the sports section of the
newspaper and had every word written about me in an album. The guys at
work were getting tired of hearing his stories and it would be a big
favor if I had the time to visit. I thought for a second or two and
agreed. When I hung the phone up Mom looked at me with questions in
her eyes.
“Mom, he wants me to come over and visit him at work this afternoon. I
told him I would.”
“OK, have a good visit. He probably wants to show you off to his
buddies.”
“How’d you know that?”
“I was married to him for fourteen years. Go on and have a good
time.”, Mom said with a twinkle in her eye. “I’m going to show Betty
the sights in town this afternoon so I’ll see you at dinner.”
Dad worked in the parts department of a new car dealer that was only a
few blocks from the hotel. I decided to walk and after the bus ride a
good walk would get the kinks out of my legs. I walked into the
dealership and asked for directions to the parts department. When I
walked up to the window Dad was looking up something in a catalog.
“Hi Dad.”
He looked up and for a moment was speechless. “Gawdalmighty you’ve
grown up Paul.”, he said as he ran out and gave me a big hug. “Let me
look at you. Damn, you’re as tall as I am. How come you are so
skinny?”
“Training, every extra pound is just that much more weight I have to
carry around the track.”
“I guess you’re right; you’ve had one hell of a season this year. Let
me introduce you to the guys who work here.” He led me around the
service department and introduced
me to everyone we met. He knew more
facts about me than I did and took every opportunity to tell the men
what my times were for the mile and how many races I had won or placed
in. I had been right three years ago; he could care less about my
grades as long as I excelled in sports.
He led me back to the parts counter and I sat on a stool as he took
care of customers and carried on a conversation with me. Mostly we
talked about sports and what had happened since the divorce. He had
moved back here last summer and took this job when his other job had
disappeared. He knew that Mom and I had moved to Capitol City and that
Mom had been promoted. He talked about being bitter after the divorce
but in light of what had happened he and Mom just weren’t meant to be
married to each other; they were too different.
“Does you Mom have a boyfriend?”, he asked out of nowhere.
“No, she is too busy with her job.”, I answered.
“That’s strange.”, he said, “Your Mom always had pretty hot pants.”
I was glad he was looking the other way for I turned red in
embarrassment. I searched for something to say but nothing would come
to mind. Mentally I had to agree with him but there was no way I would
discuss this with my father. I recalled what Mom had said about their
problems as I waited for him to continue the conversation hoping he
would change the subject.
“What time are you running tomorrow?”, he asked.
Trying to hide my relief I answered, “Around three probably; if I
place in my heat I’ll run Saturday afternoon also.”
“Do you mind if I come and watch you run?”
“No, I’d like for you to be there; I was going to invite you if you
hadn’t asked.”
“I’ll take the afternoon off and if you run Saturday I’ll be there
also.”
The conversation wound down and I gave the excuse that I had a team
meeting later and left. As I walked back to the hotel I thought about
my father. One thing was certain; he was just a man. Somehow he had
always loomed larger than life in my memory but after meeting him
again I realized he wasn’t nine feet tall. I was glad I had went to
see him alone without the added tension of Mom’s presence.
I didn’t get a chance to talk with Mom alone before Coach made us go
to bed and the next morning was filled with team meetings and last
minute strategies before the race. Mom was a volunteer chaperone so
she was busy with Betty doing whatever chaperones do.
When we came out on the field that afternoon Mom and Betty were
sitting in the stands behind our bench. After a few minutes I saw Dad
walk up and sit with them. I gave him a wave and he smiled and waved
back. When I could glance back at the stands I could see the three of
them talking and they seemed to be enjoying themselves. I relaxed and
concentrated on what was happening on the track.
It was time for me to warm up and get loose before my heat. I waved to
Mom and Dad before I went to the warm-up track. I emptied my mind of
everything and concentrated on my exercises and short jogs. I always
hated to wait for a race to be called; it seemed like hours passed
while it was only minutes. I went over the instructions from Coach in
my mind. Run easy, stay in the front of the pack until the kick, don’t
let the leaders get too far ahead, and don’t break out to early. I ran
second.
Betty invited Dad to have dinner with the team and he sat at a table
with Mom, Coach, Betty and me. Dad and Coach talked endlessly about
sports. Dad was amazed at the dinner Coach ordered for me. He thought
the huge pile of pasta was too heavy a meal for a runner. Coach gave
his standard explanation. Since I was running tomorrow I would need
all the energy I could get and pasta was the easiest way to fuel up.
After dinner we sat and talked for a little while until Coach hustled
the team off to bed. The adults went to the lounge and I went to bed.
I woke up when Mom came in to the room. I asked how her evening went
and she said, “It was OK. I’m glad I saw your Dad again; he’s very
proud of you and he complimented me on how well I have raised you. He
even asked me if I would see him again. I had to hide behind my drink
for a moment before I answered.”
“I had an embarrassing moment when he asked me if you had a
boyfriend.”
“I can imagine; did you tell him that you took care of that?”, she
said laughing.
“Why make him jealous?”, I said as I kissed Mom goodnight.
“You didn’t ask me what I said to your Dad’s invitation?”
“Should I?”
“You already knew the answer.”, she said and gave me quick kiss before
saying, “Go to sleep; you have to run tomorrow.”
The afternoon sun was hot as I waited for the starting gun. There was
a feeling of being disconnected from my surroundings; I was alone in
the middle of a packed stadium. When the gun want off I began to run
and all I could concentrate on was putting one foot in front of the
other. Everything felt good and I moved out at my own pace. I was only
vaguely aware of the other runners as I moved up and moved over to the
inner lanes. Early in the last lap I broke into a flat out run earlier
than I usually did. I wondered why I had done this and if I would have
enough steam to finish the race. Darkness came as I ran out of oxygen
and next everyone was screaming and jumping up and down.
Coach was trying to tell me something but with all the noise and my
anoxic confusion it took a little while before his words penetrated.
“You won and you were only two-tenths of a second off the state
record!”, he was practically screaming at me.
The rest of the day was a haze. I only remember Mom and Dad both
hugging me and Dad hugging Mom. The latter hug aroused the green
monster of jealousy for a moment but that disappeared when Mom firmly
attached herself to me and never got within arm’s reach of Dad again.
The bus ride back to Capitol City was a celebration. We had done well
and I wasn’t the only winner on the bus. Coach, Betty, and Mom had
their hands full with a busload of excited teenagers. I gained the
nickname of Two-Tenths from the boisterous teasing of my teammates.
The next morning we slept late and when I finally woke up I could hear
Mom making noises in the kitchen. Later she served me breakfast in bed
with her own special flourishes not the least of which included
sitting atop me as she fed me bites of buttered sweet rolls. The best
breakfasts are spiced with sensual play and end with an orgasm.
Later, in the afternoon, we lay around the backyard working on an
allover tan. Conversation was in fits and starts with long silences as
we listened to music on the radio and soaked up the sun. After the
excitement of last three days a lazy afternoon in the sun was pure
heaven.
“Paul, what do you think of your Dad?”, Mom asked after one of the
long silences.
“I guess he’s all right as long as he stays at arm’s length.”, I
replied.
“After this weekend I think he will want to have a little more contact
with you. You’re mature enough to make your own decisions about that
relationship. What do you think?”
“I’m not going out of my way to see him; where was he for three years?
I make a little splash in sports and there he is, the proud poppa.
There are too many memories for me to ever have a father/son
relationship with him. I’d only be a trophy son at best so I’ll just
be cordial when he’s around but I don’t think I’ll ever think of him
as a father.”
“You need a mature male to talk to at times Paul.”
“Mom, you answer most of my questions; I ask Coach anytime that I need
a male answer to a question.”
“You’re that close to Coach?”
“Yes, I guess I am. He and Betty have sort of adopted me since they
don’t have any kids of their own.”
“I guess they have Paul. You’ve made a good choice for surrogate
parents; I don’t feel much like a mother toward you anymore.”, Mom
said with a rueful little laugh.
Did I detect a wistful tone in Mom’s voice? I wondered if I should
pursue this line of conversation since it could lead to all manner of
traps. Mom always insisted if something was bothering me to talk it
out. There was only one way to find out if something was on her mind.
“Mom are you happy; is something bothering you?”
“Yes and no, I’m happy with our life and nothing is bothering me
except I worry about you sometimes. I feel as if I’ve taken away part
of your childhood experiences for selfish reasons.”
“We’ve had this conversation or one nearly like it many times before
and I have done some thinking. Mom how can I miss something that I
didn’t experience? Would you trade what we have between us for what we
had before? I certainly wouldn’t trade the love and intimacy we have
for anything I can imagine. I’ve learned how to love you as a person
as well as a woman. I feel as if you have given me a precious gift and
removed most of the uncertainty of being a teenager.”
Mom got out of the chaise and tumbled into the hammock with me.
“I
guess I’ll have to quit worrying about a boy that doesn’t exist and
take care of the man I love; won’t I?” Neither of us made a rational
statement for a long time.
The next two years sped by almost unnoticed. Our life was tranquil and
ordered with only a small bump here and there. Ironically, Mom was
used as an example for the ideal single parent. She managed a
successful career and raised a son who did well in academics and
sports. Privately we had a few chuckles about that. Mom even
threatened to tell the next person who asked what her secret was that
the best thing a mother could do for an unruly son was screw his
brains out. He wouldn’t have enough pent-up energy left over to get
into trouble afterward. I think there was more than a grain of truth
in that.
We spent a couple of weeks each summer at Ben’s cabin where Marcie and
I forged a strong friendship. A couple of times she tried to push our
relationship into a more romantic aspect but I could never bring
myself to take that step. I went so far as to discuss it with Mom and
she never once implied that I should be exclusively her lover. She
told me that one day I would find the right girl and when that
happened she would step aside and make a new life for herself. I
wondered if that was possible for she always seemed to increase her
attachment to me.
Dad remarried and for a year things seemed to work out but eventually
his wife left him and he was alone again. I really felt sorry for him;
the only bright spot in his life was when I broke the record for the
mile. Vicarious glory is better than none I guess.
After graduation came the short summer before college. I had been
offered several scholarships but most were at schools that wanted a
jock. They assumed that I would major in Physical Education. Finally
Coach stepped in and managed that part of my life. After a lot of
phone calls I was sent off to an athletic camp for State University.
Two weeks later I had a full scholarship at State with no limitations
on what courses I could take.
Mom and I had a long talk about the logistics of my leaving for
college. Where would I live, in the dorm or off campus? What courses
would I take? On and on it went, so many little details for a little
move.
I think it hit both of us at the same time; I was moving away from
home. We had been separated for only a week or two at most in my
entire life. Mom had taken business trips but none had been longer
than that. This was going to be a long separation. After some
discussion we decided that I would live off campus if we could find a
small private apartment. Mom could visit me on free weekends.
It was still a month before fall semester so perhaps we could find an
apartment. Mom took some vacation and we drove to State and searched
high and low for a small place that was an easy walk from the campus.
We looked at innumerable places but none were what we wanted. Privacy
was a scarce commodity at State. We exhausted the newspaper ads in two
days with no luck.
As a last desperate resort Mom and I drove up and down the streets
close to the campus looking for “For Rent” signs. It was just about
the end of the day when we spotted a sign in front of a big old house
that had been someone’s pride and joy in an earlier time. An old
couple lived in the main house and had an apartment out back in what
had once been a carriage house.
When we looked at the place it was a mess. The former occupants had
been bohemian to be kind or utter slobs if you were having a bad day.
There were two rooms and a bath. One room served as a living
room/kitchen and the other was the bedroom. About the only serviceable
items inside were the stove and refrigerator. The rest of the
furniture was a disaster of torn upholstery and stains from spilled
food or drinks. It had two things we wanted, privacy and a short walk
to the campus.
After some sharp negotiations the couple agreed to rent it furnished
only with a stove and refrigerator. They agreed that the furniture was
a mess and so far they had shown the place many times with no takers.
After some discussion they allowed that we could have the place
reasonable and Mom paid the first month’s rent.
The next day we moved the old furniture into the garage and began to
clean everything from top to bottom. Sometime in the afternoon Mom
went out and bought paint. That evening we returned to our motel
exhausted and fell into bed. The following day we painted all morning
and went furniture shopping in the afternoon. Before dinner we had
found everything we needed to furnish my apartment. The next day we
arranged furniture and did some shopping for little things for the
kitchen and bedroom. That night we slept in my new home. We were so
tired we didn’t christen the new bed until the next morning.
After lunch we drove back to Capitol City and stumbled into the house
totally beat from the week of hard labor. It was after dinner before
Mom checked her answering machine. I was watching TV in the living
room as she made several phone calls.
When she finished on the phone she came in the living room and sat on
the sofa with me. “Would you like to visit your Dad Saturday?”
“Why?”, I answered.
“He wants us to fly down Friday night; he has a surprise for you.”
“What kind of surprise?”
“He asked me to keep it a secret but I think you will like it.”, Mom
teased me.
Try as I might I couldn’t get Mom to tell me what the surprise was. I
thought about a car but I knew that Dad couldn’t afford anything like
that so I was mystified and Mom wasn’t helping. I spent the whole week
trying to figure out what Dad had up his sleeve.
We flew down late Friday evening and Dad picked us up the next
morning. He took us out on the lot and showed us a two year old sport
coupe. It had my time for the record breaking mile painted on the
windshield in water paint. I couldn’t say a word; I just stood there
with my mouth open.
“Well, do you like it?”, Dad asked.
“I don’t know what to say.”, I finally managed to stammer out.
Dad laughed and said, “Thanks Dad, would do for a starter.”
I don’t remember giving Dad a hug before this but I gave him one then.
He seemed a little flustered but managed to return it.
There was an embarrassing silence for a moment or two before Dad said,
“Take it out for a spin; your mother and I will wait for you here.”
I looked at Mom and she nodded assent. I drove out of the lot and went
out of town to the open highway. I couldn’t believe that I was the
owner of a car like this. Dad had picked well. It was sporty enough to
fit my taste and it ran like the hounds of hell was chasing it. I just
wanted to keep driving but Mom and Dad were waiting back at the lot so
reluctantly I turned around and drove back.
We had lunch with Dad and spent the afternoon at his apartment just
talking and getting to know each other. Mom was quiet and let Dad and
I carry the conversation. He wasn’t trying to be a father but seemed
more like an older man trying to make friends with me. We found common
ground in sports and had a lively afternoon.
Mom suggested we leave for Capitol City around four and Dad said he
had a date later so Mom and I said our farewells and started the long
drive home. She was silent for a long time and I was so excited about
my car I didn’t notice until it was almost dinner time. When I asked
her where she wanted to have dinner she replied in a monosyllable.
“What’s wrong Mom?”, I asked.
“This afternoon I discovered that my boy has grown up into a man. The
mother in me is a little sad. I haven’t had motherly feelings about
you for a long time but this afternoon as you and your father talked
the mother in me took control of my emotions. You’re about to leave
the nest and I’ll miss you terribly.”
“I’ll only be an hour’s drive away and now that I have a car I can
drive home on weekends if you can’t come and visit me.”
“That’s not the problem. I’ve been two women for you for so long and
until now both interests were the same. As a mother I want to see you
have a good life with a wife and children but the other woman in me
doesn’t want to let go. I feel like two people at war with
themselves.”
I reached over and found Mom’s hand and held it in mine; bucket seats
are not romantic. “Mom, I think I have some say in this and right now
I have no plans for rose covered cottages. I’m happy just as we are.”
“I guess we’ll just have to live for the moment and let the future
bring what it will. Paul, if the time ever comes when you want to
marry I’ll do my damnedest to just be Mom.”
“What if I don’t want you to be just Mom?”
“That puts us back in square one doesn’t it?”
“I’m happy with that.”, I replied. “Want to stop somewhere for
dinner?”
“Burgers and fries would hit the spot right now.”
The rest of the drive home was a pleasant run through the night. Mom
had been tense and distant earlier but
after our short conversation
and dinner it had dissipated. We laughed and joked about road signs
and played a game of making up phrases from the three letter groups on
license plates. HGT became, “Her good time.” or PQK was, “Pretty
quirky kid.” Mom had a talent for making up games to pass the time.
The weekend before enrollment Mom and I loaded both cars with my
things and drove to State. Mom spent all afternoon helping me put
things away and arranging the apartment. A quick trip to the
supermarket stocked the place with edibles. I was in my first home
away from home.
Mom invited the older couple over for coffee late that afternoon and
they were amazed at the change that had taken place. They told us
tales of former tenant’s antics and joked about the trials of a
landlord in a college town. A cordial note had been struck and I hoped
we could maintain the friendly atmosphere as long as I was a tenant.
How can I describe that last weekend before Mom went home? I was
excited about the coming week and starting college. Mom had been
absolutely correct about being two people the other night. One moment
she was a mother who was letting go of a son and the next she was a
lover facing a separation from her beloved. Whichever woman she was I
held her and tried to comfort her. At times she just needed holding
and at others she was an insatiable lover. I was anxious to just get
on with whatever the next week would bring and it was a trial of my
patience trying to comfort her.
Mom left late Sunday night and I was alone. I went to bed and
immediately missed her presence beside me. I remembered my impatience
of a few hours earlier and felt guilty; even a crying Mom to hug would
be welcome now as I lay alone in a mostly empty bed. Finally I dropped
off into a fitful sleep and tossed and turned until morning.
My week was filled with Career Counselors, interviews, and waits in
line to enroll in this class or that. Each new class had a list of
books and supplies that I would need. I made three trips to the
bookstore and came out loaded each time. Mom had thoughtfully bought a
bookshelf for the apartment and by Wednesday it was mostly full. I had
made a huge dent in my bank account; I would have to be thrifty for
the rest of the month.
I called Mom that evening and we discussed my schedule. I had gotten
every class I wanted plus another my counselor had suggested. Mom
commiserated with me about my course load and we discussed the
weekend. I had a meeting tomorrow with the Track Coach at 1:00 PM and
I told her I would be free after that. We decided that I would drive
home as soon as I was free. After the usual I miss you and I love you
I hung up and was faced with my lonely apartment again. Three days had
made me homesick and I missed Mom terribly.
The meeting with the coach was not what I expected; it was more like a
scene out of a gung-ho military movie. In very loud and certain terms
he told us what was expected if we wished to continue in this school
under scholarship. We were expected to stay in shape, run every day,
and not cut Phys-Ed classes. If our grades fell to failing we would be
on the street. He minced no words; the track team didn’t have the
budget that football and basketball had so we would have to make it on
our own without tutors. So much for coddled college athletes; next
Tuesday we would have our first evaluation session.
The drive home was filled with anticipation of what waited for me at
the other end. Four nights away from Mom and I was beside myself. She
had left on business trips for longer periods but that was different.
I was sleeping in our bed and living in a house surrounded by our
things. Now I was living in a strange apartment and she was sixty
miles away. It was an hour and a half drive on a bad day but it might
as well be halfway across the country during the week.
This weekend set the pattern for all my weekends at home. We spent
time together and usually spent some time with Coach and Betty if they
were free. We were naturally a very private couple and for all intents
and purposes a devoted mother and son.
When Mom was busy I would go over to Betty’s and keep her and Coach
company. Betty, Coach, and I became close friends. They had always
been like a second family to me but as I matured an adult friendship
developed between us. I liked to have conversations with Betty and we
would spend hours in her kitchen just talking if Coach was away.
Betty wrote poetry for a hobby and we would sit at her kitchen table
and I would listen as she read to me. Coach would tease me good
naturedly about the poetry for Betty had never shared it with him.
Betty would reply that I was her young lover and understood her
scribbles. We would all have a good laugh together. I felt at home
with Coach and Betty.
Mom would visit me on some weekends but usually I would drive to
Capitol City. If she had business in town she would stay with me for a
few days. She was travelling more since I had moved and we had less
time together. As my Freshman year passed we had put a little distance
between us.
We spent a couple of weeks with Ben and Pat at the lake early that
summer and I renewed my friendship with Marcie. She was all pumped up
over a boyfriend and I was happy for her. She asked if I would
continue to write to her and I assured her that I would answer her
letters. Ben and I did a lot of fishing and we ate trout until we were
all tired of fish.
When we got home from the lake Mom and I kicked back for another week.
I sensed that she had something on her mind and was reluctant to talk
about whatever it was. We were spending a lazy afternoon in the
backyard when I decided to draw her out.
Without preamble I asked, “Mom, what’s bothering you? Don’t tell me
that everything is all right for I know you better than that.”
“I have a big decision to make about something and I don’t know what
to do about it. I’ve been waiting for the right moment to talk to you
and I guess this is as good a time as any. Paul, what if I moved away
from Capitol City to the east coast?”
“I guess the only question I can ask is why?”
“I’ve been offered the directorship of the southeast district. I have
to make a decision one way or the other in a couple of weeks. I want
to take the job but I don’t want to leave you.”
This was the last thing I had been expecting. What could I say? I
would miss her terribly but I couldn’t let that stand in her way. Mom
had put blood and sweat into her career, first to support us and then
because she was good at what she did. I loved this woman every way it
was possible to love a woman and I didn’t want to become a millstone
that dragged her down. We had both put too much effort into her career
for me to be selfish and want to hold her too close.
I got out of the hammock and went over to the chaise and gave her a
hug as I said, “Congratulations Mom.” I sat beside her and asked,
“When can you leave?”
“Mid July is the earliest; they want me to be settled in before we
begin buying product for the Christmas Season.”
“Do it and I can help you get moved before fall term starts. I’ll miss
you.”
“I’ll miss you too but you can visit me on holidays and I can arrange
to take business trips now and again.”
“I’ll graduate in three years and then we can be together again.”
“A lot can happen in three years.”, Mom said. “Perhaps we’ll find a
way to make a life apart. As much as I love and need you I still want
you to have a normal life with children. I want you to make me a
grandmother not a mother again.”, she said laughing.
There was no rational reply to that and I shut up. I had gotten used
to living by myself and it wouldn’t be much harder to learn to live
with long separations. I didn’t want to separate from Mom but we both
knew that it would have to happen sometime.
“Paul, will you be my lover as long as it doesn’t violate someone’s
trust?”
“Try and keep me away.”, I answered.
The words that formed the foundation for separating our lives were so
easy to say but I knew that it would be difficult to carry out the
actuality. We were still lovers but the common goals that we had
worked toward had diverged and things would be forever different
between us. We had been like Siamese twins and the separation would be
painful.
The summer was tumultuous with the details of moving and Mom’s job
change. The confusion generated by all the problems of moving put our
emotions on the back burner. We just tried to get through each day as
it came. Somehow we survived and watched as the moving van pulled away
from the house.
Mom’s new job took her to Atlanta and the bustle of the new south. We
drove across the country and my western eyes were overwhelmed by the
never-ending green of the east coast. After the sere vegetation of the
desert the east seemed like a jungle.
We found Mom a nice house and settled her in. I had to get back and
start fall semester so
too soon we were standing in the airport saying
goodbye. For once we kissed like lovers in public and I boarded my
flight to Capitol City.
On the flight back I tried to recall the events that led up to this
moment but I couldn’t remember the details. The only parts I could
remember with any clarity were the intimate moments Mom and I had
spent together in the last days. These memories would have to suffice
until Thanksgiving. I was going to be alone for a long time.
Betty met my plane and took me to her house to get my car. I wanted to
leave for State immediately but she asked me to spend a few days with
them. She and Coach kept me busy and entertained as I adjusted to my
new circumstances. When I left for State they made me promise to visit
on weekends when I was free.
School again and all that implied. I became immersed in my studies and
managed to keep busy most of the time. Mom called me on Sunday
mornings and we would talk for a while but it wasn’t the same. I
missed her nearness and her special touch. She alluded to missing our
unique moments together and promised me a special treat when she came
west in November.
Coach and Betty invited me to spend a three day weekend with them and
I drove over on Friday night. We had a wonderful time barbecuing in
their backyard with many of their friends from school. Monday morning
Betty and I had a long talk together when Coach had to take care of
some things at school. I was fortunate to have her for a friend.
She and Mom had been very close despite the difference in their ages.
Now that closeness had been transferred to me and I had become her
confidante. She and Coach had married when she was nineteen and had
been married for six years. Coach had found out that he was sterile
from a bout with the mumps as a child so they had no children. Coach
had his track team and she usually became involved to fill the
emotional vacuum of no children of their own.
Mom flew in the weekend before Thanksgiving and surprised me. I was
sitting home Saturday morning when she knocked on my door. She had
taken a red eye special out of Atlanta Friday night and drove up in a
rental car. It was like magic for I had been fantasizing about her
visit when she arrived. It was much later before I had time to get her
bags from the car.
Mom had become the very hard bitten executive in the past few months.
She was still warm and loving in private but her public persona had
changed. She dressed in severe business suits and her mannerisms were
crisp with no wasted motion. I would hate to have to deal with her in
any capacity except as her son and lover. When we were alone she was
just as she had been before and we spent the whole weekend making up
for lost time. I had classes on Monday and Tuesday and afterward we
went to Capitol City to have Thanksgiving dinner with Coach and Betty.
We spent the weekend together in my apartment exploring our passion.
No matter how tough she had become she was still powerless when I gave
her my special kiss and took that half inch of tender flesh between my
lips. We were two practiced lovers who knew each other’s desires.
Nothing had changed there but we were not the same people who had
parted last summer.
I put Mom on an airplane Sunday afternoon and stopped by to see Coach
and Betty before I drove back to State. Coach wasn’t home but Betty
invited me in and poured me a cup of coffee in the kitchen. We sat at
the table and I listened to Betty chatter on about local gossip. I
gave a positive or negative response when necessary.
Finally Betty said, “I guess I’m alone here with you in my kitchen.
Care to share with me what’s bothering you Paul?”
“I don’t know; I guess it’s because Mom seemed a little distant and
different. I can’t put my finger on any one thing but somehow she’s
changed.”
“Yes, she’s changed but that’s only half of it. You’ve changed also;
you are maturing very fast now and she’s adapting to a new set of
challenges. You’re both different people now. She’s still your Mom;
just accept the changes and get on with what you have to do.”
“You’re right as usual but it comes as a shock.”
“I can imagine, you and your mother were very close and it will be
difficult for you to cut her apron strings but cut them you must if
you are ever going to have a life independent of her.”
Betty’s words stung me like a lash of a whip but they were true. What
kind of life could I have with mother? I hadn’t really thought about
it before but I knew that I would have to give it some serious thought
soon. Time to file this conversation away for another time when I
could do some serious thinking. I wasn’t being very good company in my
present mood.
“Betty, you always get to the center of things. Let’s put that subject
away and talk about the foibles of your neighbors.”
She laughed and began a tirade about the people who had bought our old
house. Sometime later Coach came home and joined us in the kitchen. We
talked until late and I drove back to State in the wee hours.
My Christmas trip to Atlanta was just short of a disaster. Mom and I
seemed to have different opinions on every subject. She paraded me
around and let everyone see her son the honor student and track star.
I hated that. I would have rather been just Paul without the addition
of my accomplishments. When we were alone I accused her of using me as
a trophy son and we had a violent argument. Afterward we had a tearful
reconciliation and buried our differences in the bedroom. The bedroom
was the only enjoyable part of the trip. We could still work magic
with each other’s bodies and did every opportunity we could get.
It was with relief I boarded a plane for Capitol City. Mom and I had
parted on a loving note but we both knew our longstanding affair was
over. Good sex is not the sole basis for a love affair. There has to
be an intellectual connection and we had lost that. I hoped that we
would find a mother and son relationship sometime in the future but
for now we were better off apart.
Betty met me at the airport and took me home with her. I had a few
days before I had to be back at State and she and Coach asked me to
stay with them. I enjoyed their company and especially needed to be
around someone as lively as Betty after my Christmas with Mom.
I helped Coach inventory equipment one day and got a look at my old
school gym. It brought back memories of other times, happier times.
The next day I helped Betty with her after holiday cleaning and it
reminded me of the times when Mom and I were struggling to survive. I
was in a blue funk and Betty noticed.
After lunch Batty and I sat in her kitchen and talked around the main
subject. Finally an exasperated Betty said, “You and you Mom had a
fight, didn’t you?”
“Yes we did. We couldn’t seem to agree about anything.”
“Give her a call and apologize for being so mule headed.”
“Betty, she was as much at fault as I was. Why should I apologize to
her?”
“She’s your mother and you only get one of those. If you make the
first move she can apologize for her mistakes without getting her
pride hurt.”
“What about my pride?”
“You can be proud and miserable or swallow a little pride and make
things right. Call her right now and get it over with.” Betty’s tone
brooked no argument.
When Mom’s voice came over the phone she sounded crisp and
business-like but when I said hello she immediately became emotional.
I apologized for being wrong-headed and she said it was her fault not
mine. When she found out that I was not in my apartment she said to
call her back as soon as I got home and we could talk our differences
privately. We said our good-byes and I hung the phone up and put down
a heavy load.
“Feel better?”, Betty asked.
“You were right as usual. I feel like I just laid down a heavy load.”
“You two had a lover’s quarrel. It’s not easy for either person to say
I’m sorry after one of those.”
When Betty’s words registered I sat there numb with shock written all
over my face. How could Betty know about us? Did she know about our
private life?
“Don’t look so dumbfounded; I’ve known about your little secret for a
long time. You and your Mom were almost perfect but I know both of you
and I visited your house. Your room looked unused and body language
gave me the rest of the story. I was a little shocked at first but I
like your Mom and I like you. I came to the conclusion that it was
none of my business and I didn’t want to lose two good friends. No one
else has a clue and your secret is safe with me. I think it best if
you don’t tell your Mom that I know.”
“What do I say now?”, I managed to say through my shock.
“Nothing, that’s a private matter between you and Evelyn. I only
mentioned it so I could give you some good advice that you can accept.
If you didn’t know I was in on your little secret you would assume
that I didn’t know what I was talking about and forget
everything I
said. Right?”
“Yes, you’re right.”
We talked the whole afternoon and for the first time I was open and
relaxed with another person besides my mother. I didn’t know up to
this time how much I had been holding back in my relationships with
other people. Sitting in Betty’s warm, snug kitchen I made my first
real friend.
Mom and I had a long talk on the phone and we mutually decided that we
should end our affair; it was time to move on. Over time we would find
a new relationship but the air was clear between us.
As the spring semester wore on I began to date girls my age. Somehow
we never seemed to connect. One girl said that I was nineteen going on
fifty after spending the night in my apartment. It must have been a
terrible night for her; it was embarrassing for me. I couldn’t get
beyond the preliminaries. Nothing she did could get me aroused.
Luckily she enjoyed oral sex or the evening would have been a total
disaster.
I continued to date but I never invited any of my dates to my
apartment again. One evening like that was enough. I figured that in
time I would meet a girl who excited me and until then I would not try
to force anything. I was back to magazines in the bathroom.
I spent spring break with Coach and Betty. We had a nice time and I
could keep my training up. Coach didn’t run with me and seemed a
little peaked. He picked my brain for training tips that the coaches
at State were using. Betty was excluded from these conversations and
when Coach wasn’t around monopolized my time.
We discussed Mom’s bombshell she had delivered a few days before. She
was going to be married in June. Betty seemed to be more concerned
about how I felt than about the coming wedding. When she was convinced
that I was not going into another blue funk she gossiped and joked in
her normal breezy way. As things worked out I was unable to attend
Mom’s big day.
I had a moderately good track season and won a couple of races but it
was clear that I would never be a world class runner. I had begun to
put on weight and bulk out. My coach at State tried me in different
events but my best was still the mile. Mother Nature had decided that
I was going to be stocky and not a lean running machine.
I applied for an academic scholarship and was accepted. That cleared
the way for some high school athlete to attend college. My altruism
cost me a free summer for I had to take summer semester to satisfy the
requirements of my scholarship.
When I broke the news to Mom she was disappointed that I would be
unable to be at her wedding but she promised to visit me after she and
her new hubby got back from their honeymoon.
Betty called me just before the Independence Day break and asked me to
come to see Coach. I was mystified by her request for she usually just
asked me to come visit. Why had she specifically asked for me to visit
Coach? Oh well, I’d know in a few days.
Nothing could have prepared me for the news that awaited me that
weekend. I drove down early Saturday morning and arrived in time for
breakfast. Coach and I sat at the kitchen table and got caught up on
the news while Betty bustled around and put together a country
breakfast. After breakfast Coach and I had coffee in the backyard
alone. Coach began to tell me what the big news was as soon as we were
comfortable.
“Paul, I have a big favor to ask of you. Things are going to be a
little mixed up for the next few months and I am not going to be able
to look after things for Betty. I’ve always taken care of our business
and she’s going to need help. Will you do that?”
What was he talking about? Where was he going to be that Betty would
need my help? Totally confused I answered, “Of course I’ll do anything
to help you or Betty but why would she need my help?”
“There’s no easy way to tell you this but straight out. I have cancer;
it’s a very aggressive type and there is only a slim chance that I
will survive. The doctors give me a one in five chance. The treatment
is long and painful but I’m going to try it for Betty’s sake. I go in
the hospital Monday and I wanted you to be here to give her comfort
and support. You and Evelyn are the closest thing to family either of
us have; Betty’s an orphan and my parents were killed in an accident
several years ago. I know it’s a hell of a thing to ask of you with
all you have going on right now but I don’t have anyone else to turn
to.”
“Coach, the two of you have always been there when I needed anything.
You have been like a real father to me; I’ll do whatever is necessary
and consider it a son’s privilege.”
“Thanks Paul.”
Nothing more was said about what my role would be. After a while Betty
joined us and we made plans for Coach’s stay in the hospital. The rest
of the weekend we tried to have fun but Monday morning’s appointment
cast gloom over all of us.
Coach came through the surgery with flying colors and the doctors
assured us that he had a good chance with a course of follow-up
chemotherapy. We spent every moment up until the nurses ran us off at
his bedside.
We drove home and tried to get some rest but gave up on sleep early in
the morning. We were back at the hospital as soon as they would let us
visit and spent the whole day with Coach. He was mending well and they
told us he could come home in a couple of days. I had to be in class
Wednesday so I drove back to State that evening but promised to return
as soon as I got out of class Friday.
That weekend we discussed chemotherapy and Betty filled me in on what
the doctors had told her. We sat in the backyard while Coach took a
nap on Saturday afternoon and Betty gave me the good news and the bad
news.
The good news was Coach had made remarkable progress after surgery but
the bad news was his course of treatment over the next few months
would be more terrible than the surgery. He would be sick for days
after a session and he would lose all his hair. By spring they would
know if he had a chance. This kind of cancer sometimes responded well
to chemo or came back with a vengeance. If it came back there was
nothing that could be done but make him comfortable as possible with
drugs.
Fall semester began and I was almost over my head with my course load.
If it hadn’t been for Betty helping me with some of my reports and
written assignments I don’t know how I would have survived. I helped
her with Coach and she would write some of my assignments as she sat
with him at the hospital on a laptop computer. I would edit what she
had written before I turned it in. In return I helped her with
housework and generally made myself useful on weekends. Betty was
impressed with my housekeeping skills. I was equally impressed with
her wit and writing skills.
The weeks went by in a blur and Thanksgiving sneaked up on me before I
realized it. Mom wanted me to visit with her and her husband but Coach
was having a bad time so I promised to visit over Christmas break and
spend a couple of weeks. She was disappointed but reluctantly agreed
it was best for me to stay here.
Coach was in the hospital recovering after one of his many chemo
treatments and wouldn’t get out until the weekend. Betty and I had
planned to spend the day with him but he had a surprise for us; he had
one of the nurses make Thanksgiving Dinner reservations for the two of
us at his favorite restaurant. He insisted that we go out and not come
back until the next morning. The nurse assured us that she would beep
Betty if there was any change in Coach’s condition.
When we arrived at the restaurant I noticed one of my classmates was
there with a large crowd of people. As we passed their table I waved
in recognition and he waved back. Betty and I were seated at a table
for two in a quiet part of the dining room where we could talk and
have some privacy. We ordered dinner and worked hard at having a good
time.
The specter of Coach in his hospital bed was at the table with us but
we managed to enjoy our meal and actually have a laugh or two. Neither
of us had any free time since early in the summer and this was a rare
treat. Try as we might to talk about anything but what was uppermost
on our minds we always drifted back to Coach and his fight.
When we finished dinner the waiter gave me a note. It was an
invitation to join my classmate and his family at their table for a
drink. I gave the note to Betty and asked, “Would you like to accept
the invitation?”
“Why not, it would be rude to refuse and we’re not good company for
each other alone. We only have one thing to talk about.”
When we joined my classmate Tom introduced us all around and poured
champagne. Soon we were engaged in conversation with a family that had
never met a stranger. After a couple of glasses of champagne Betty and
I were able to put our problems on the back burner and enjoy the
company of these outgoing people.
Someone suggested that we go dancing and Tom invited us I to join
them. “Would you
like to go Betty?”, I asked.
“I don’t know if I should.”, she replied.
“Coach told us not to come back until tomorrow and the hospital will
beep if anything happens. I don’t know if I remember how to dance.”, I
said.
“Why don’t you go without me Paul.”
“Who would I dance with? I don’t think I could get a date at this late
hour on Thanksgiving. Why not come along? You need a break worse than
I do.”
“Let me call the hospital and check on Coach; if he’s OK I guess it’ll
be alright.”
In a few moments Betty returned laughing about something Coach had
said. “I got marching orders.”, she said, “I’m to go dancing, have a
drink or three which means get a little drunk, and try not to make a
fool of myself.”
“That doesn’t exclude being a little foolish and having fun does it?”,
I asked.
“If it does then I guess I’ll have to disobey one of my orders.”,
Betty replied laughing.
She grew more animated after we arrived at the club with our noisy
group. We danced several times and then someone out of our crowd asked
her to dance.
Tom and I were sitting alone at our table when he said, “Paul, you
have great taste in women; Betty’s a classy lady; I can see why you
don’t date too many of the girls at school.”
I almost told him about Coach but this was a fun party so why talk
about gloomy things so I replied, “Yeh, we’ve been friends for a long
time.”
Tom’s words planted a seed in my mind. Betty had always been just
Betty the coach’s wife. As the evening progressed I found myself
holding her closer as we danced and holding her hand a little longer
when I escorted her from the dance floor. I became acutely aware that
she was an attractive woman. Things were complicated enough and I
didn’t need an additional complication. What if I did something to
offend her?
The witching hour came and we all piled out of the club and said noisy
good-byes in the parking lot. Betty and I got in my car and started
the drive home. Betty took my hand and held it as we drove home.
“Thanks for a wonderful time Paul. I needed to get out and be with
people for a while. Coach is a wonderful husband and I am going to
have to thank him for thinking of me when we see him tomorrow.” She
leaned over and gave me a little peck on the cheek before she returned
to her side of the car.
The next day Betty went to visit Coach and I stayed home to study and
clean house. When she returned I had everything shipshape and all the
laundry done. I could see the surprised look on her face when she
walked in. “Paul the house looks wonderful. Did you spend all day
housecleaning? You were supposed to study not this. I was going to
clean up tonight.”, she chided me.
“I wanted Coach to have a nice place to come home to and for selfish
reasons I wanted you to be free to help me with my studies tonight.”
“Fair enough, I’d rather help you than do laundry anytime.”, she
replied and gave me a rough and ready hug.
She poured us both coffee and sat down across the table and began to
type a report from my rough notes; I struggled with equations and
graphs for math. Now and again Betty would read me something she had
written for my approval or we would discuss a point that I hadn’t
developed clearly. We knocked off about midnight and sat talking for a
few minutes.
“Paul, thanks for everything you’ve done. I don’t know how I would
have made it without you these last few months.”
“You and Coach are my closest friends; I’m only doing what a friend is
expected to do. Were the shoe on the other foot you two would be there
for me.”
“I guess we would. I can’t help thinking I’m going to lose him and
then where will I be?”
“He’ll get over this and things will return to normal; you’ll see. If
the worst should happen I’ll still be here to help you.”
“That’s the problem, I feel like we are cheating you out of a part of
your life. You should be enjoying your college years not caring for a
sick man and his depressed wife.”
“Perhaps I want to care for you.”, I said. After I said the words
their meaning dawned on me.
Betty sat quiet for a few minutes before replying, “I think I would
feel the same if you were in my shoes.”
The next morning we brought Coach home and made him comfortable. He
was a changed man in my eyes. He had lost weight and his clothes were
too large; he looked like a shrunken man sitting in his favorite
chair. He had lost his hair and Kojack he wasn’t. He deflected any
questions with a constant stream of jokes about his appearance. In his
extremity he radiated good cheer and tried to be his entertaining old
self.
We watched a football game in the afternoon and he slept through most
of it only waking now and again to ask what the score was. The old
Coach would have analyzed every play and picked out every minor
mistake made by both teams. He had taught me how to watch a game and
enjoy it now he was just going through the motions.
Late Sunday evening when I was leaving for State Betty walked me to
the door and gave me a big hug as I prepared to leave. “Thanks from
both of us for a wonderful holiday. Are you coming back next weekend?”
“If you want and if you will help me with some of my assignments.”
“I want and I will; how’s that for an answer?”
I left her question unanswered and walked to my car. I drove back to
State and my lonely apartment.
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas break I spent every weekend with
Betty and Coach. He didn’t seem to be improving but he wasn’t getting
any worse either. We fell into a pattern. Friday night Coach would
question me about my week and tell me about his, Saturday morning
Betty and I would go grocery shopping together and have lunch at some
little fast food place where we could talk privately about Coach’s
condition, Saturday night Betty and I would work on my assignments
with Coach looking on, and Sunday afternoon Coach and I would watch a
football game together while Betty went out alone just to get away for
a short while. Betty always met me with a sparkle in her eyes and
wistfully bid me goodbye.
When Christmas break rolled around I drove to Capitol City and spent a
couple of days with Coach and Betty before I flew to Atlanta. I was
nervous about meeting Mom and her husband. When Betty and I were alone
I discussed my fears with her.
“Paul, you and your Mom have carried on a charade for years; just
continue with it. If your mother hasn’t told her husband about the two
of you then keep the secret. If she has then you just play it by ear.
Give her husband a chance to be himself; you might like him since she
does.”
I took Betty’s advice and it proved sound. When I got off the airplane
and met Mom in the terminal she was alone. She ran up and gave me a
bear hug that almost cracked my ribs and planted a sloppy kiss on me
that must have smeared lipstick from ear to ear. The problem was I
returned it just as enthusiastically. The old fire was still there
ready to break out if given half a chance. Mom only knew one way to
kiss me and she did that in spades. She hung on me like a long lost
lover and babbled about my trip and how much she missed me until we
reached the car.
As she drove home from the airport she began to talk about her
husband, John, and fill me in on what I should know, “I’ve never told
him about us and as far as he’s concerned we’re just mother and son.
He’s very nice and I think you’ll like him. He wanted us to have a
little time alone before he met you. How’s Betty and Coach?”
I gave her a rundown on the situation and how I had been helping them.
Mom nodded now and again in agreement with the things I said. When I
finished telling her about the problems in Capitol City we drove in
silence for a short while.
Out of nowhere Mom said, “We will have to be careful; there were
sparks when I kissed you hello. Have you missed your old mother?”
“Yes, I guess I have and yes, there are sparks. Will they ever go
away?”
“I don’t know Paul; I guess we will just have to be a little less
familiar with each other or the pot might boil over.”
“It’s not just the two of us anymore.”
We finished the drive in silence each lost in our private thoughts. I
was glad Mom had remarried or I wouldn’t have had the strength to let
her go.
I liked John from the moment we met. He was unassuming and friendly
from the first handshake. He called me Paul and told me to call him
John. We had a drink and just sat around for a while getting to know
each other. He was genuinely interested in me and what I was doing in
school.
When Mom told him about Betty, Coach, and the role they had played in
our lives he expressed real concern. As I watched the two of them I
could see they really loved and respected each other. I was happy for
Mom; she deserved it. I thought I would be jealous but when I examined
my feelings it wasn’t there.
I was still attracted to Mom
physically and I would have to be
careful. I think my physical attraction had become entwined with my
normal affection for my mother. Perhaps it would always be this way
but whatever I still loved Mom as a mother and more. When we were
alone I would just have to act if there was another person present.
The holiday went well and we had a wonderful Christmas together. John
and Mom got me a nice laptop computer and all the software I could
possibly need for school. I couldn’t thank them enough.
When the time came to leave I was sincere when I said I would miss
them. I hoped the future allowed me to get to know my stepfather
better.
Late January brought bad news; Coach’s cancer was spreading. The
doctors told Betty and me that there was nothing more they could
reasonably do except make him comfortable. They gave him two months on
the outside and weeks on the inside. When we talked to him he seemed
resigned and at peace with himself. If the test of a man is how he
accepts death then Coach had given me the privilege of having had a
great man for a friend. His primary concern was for Betty and instead
of talking about himself he planned for Betty’s future. He told her
not to sign anything before I had a chance to read it and to seek my
opinion on anything she wasn’t absolutely certain about.
I left them and walked outside in the evening darkness to think about
my loss alone. I had spent practically every spare moment with them
since Mom had moved to Atlanta; what would I do now? What would Betty
do after Coach was gone? So many questions and so few answers.
Whatever happened I would help Betty settle her affairs and face the
future as it came.
Coach picked a rainy March day to take his departure. Betty and I came
home from the hospital in numbed shock. We sat at the kitchen table
and drank endless cups of coffee and talked in disconnected sentences.
Tomorrow we would have to plan his funeral. I called Mom and she said
she and John would fly out first thing in the morning.
Somehow we got through the next days. Betty was like stone during the
whole ordeal. John proved to be an excellent organizer and had
everything tied up with no loose ends. After the funeral we saw them
off at the airport and I drove Betty home.
When we walked through the front door her iron control broke and she
collapsed into a sobbing heap in the hall. I was at a loss and all I
could think to do was carry her to the sofa and sit quietly by
offering whatever comfort I could. Later I helped her off to bed and
left her alone staring at the ceiling. Seeing Betty in this much pain
hurt more than the loss of my friend.
The next morning I prepared breakfast and later fixed a tray for
Betty. As I was working in the kitchen I remembered other mornings
when I had made trays for Mom for very different reasons. I knocked on
her bedroom door and she invited me in. The surprise and delight on
her face when she saw the tray made the effort worthwhile.
“Why breakfast in bed; do you consider me an invalid?”
“No, I just thought you might enjoy a change.”
“After yesterday I guess anything will be a change. I’m sorry I was
such a bother last night.”
“You were no bother; I felt helpless to see you in so much pain and
not be able to help you.”
“You did everything exactly right and your presence gave me the
strength to get through the night. He wanted me to be strong and I did
my best in public but it all came crashing in when I got home and knew
he would never be here again. He admired your mother for her strength
and he knew you were a part of that. I guess it’s the reason he wanted
you to help me settle up his affairs. If I get weepy again just turn
me over your knee and give me a good spanking.”
Sitting in her bedroom watching her have breakfast in bed brought back
memories of other morning in other times. Unbidden, erotic thoughts
surfaced and I had to guard what I said and did very carefully. This
was Betty and not Mom.
I sat and sipped a cup of coffee as we chatted about other things and
other times. When she finished her tray she shooed me out and said she
would join me as soon as she got dressed. I carried the tray to the
kitchen and washed up the breakfast things.
When she joined me I was working on assignments I had to make up and
she sat down and mentally rolled up her sleeves and pitched in to
help. By Sunday afternoon we had everything caught up and were both
thoroughly fed up with books and homework.
When I got ready to leave she asked me if I would come down over the
weekend.
“If you really want me to come I will.”
“I’d like to have the company. I’ll be busy with the lawyer this week
and I want your opinion on what he tells me.”
“I’ll be down Friday night; call me if you need to talk about
anything.”
She gave me the traditional hug and little peck on the cheek as I
turned to go.
As the weeks went by I spent almost every weekend at Betty’s. Each
time I visited her it became a little harder to leave on Sunday
evening. One Friday we were sitting on the sofa watching TV. I put and
arm around her without thinking and drew her to my side. She didn’t
resist or protest; she just sat beside me as if it was the most
natural thing to do. There had never been anything even remotely
romantic between us before but my feeling for Betty had been changing
since Tom’s casual remark last Thanksgiving.
Nothing Betty had done or said indicated she wanted to have a romantic
relationship with me but I couldn’t continue to be around her as a
friend at arm’s length. I had to have more of her or no Betty at all.
Until this moment I didn’t know that I had fallen in love.
I tilted her face up to mine and kissed her for the first time full on
the lips. I could feel her whole body tremble in my arms. For a brief
second she seemed as if she was responding to me and then she suddenly
pulled away and moved to the other end of the sofa.
“Paul, I’m very fond of you but I don’t think I’m ready for this just
yet. Can’t we just be friends a little longer?”
“The Genie slipped out of the bottle a few moments ago Betty when I
realized that I was in love with you. I can’t put the Genie back in
the bottle and I can’t go back to where I was before.”
“It’s too early for me to start something like this. Give me a little
time and let me get my head together. I don’t want to make a mistake
or do something to hurt you. You are my best friend on this planet and
I don’t want to do something foolish.”
I knew what I had to do. I couldn’t stay in the same house with her
with my feelings like this. Reluctantly I said, “Betty, I have to
leave. I can’t be this close to you alone without loving you. I have
to get out of here now or I will do something stupid. I love you and
when you get things straight in your mind give me a call; I’ll be
waiting.”
I went to the guest room and grabbed my bag. When I walked through the
living room Betty was still sitting on the sofa quietly crying. I
lifted her face and gave her a quick kiss before I left.
The drive home was filled with almost this and almost that. At every
exit on the highway I would slow to exit and turn back but at the last
moment I would pass it by. When I got home I almost called her but
hung the phone up before I finished dialing. Finally I threw myself in
bed and tried to sleep.
I must have dozed off for I was awakened by someone knocking. It was
still dark so I got out of bed and padded barefoot to the door and
opened it. Betty threw herself into my arms and almost bowled me over.
Astonished I managed to get the door closed and a light turned on.
“Can a stupid widow stay with you?”, she asked.
“As long as she wants.” I replied.
Epilog:
We were married in June after I graduated. At the wedding reception
Mom seemed a little distant and cold to Betty. On a hunch I told Betty
to go and quietly ask Mom how I liked my eggs. I watched as she made
her way through the crowd and whispered something in Mom’s ear. Mom
seemed stunned for a moment before she answered, “Sometimes scrambled,
sometimes an omelet, but always moist.” Then she hugged Betty and
roared with laughter. Later she hugged me and whispered in my ear, “I
know I’m a bitch so that must make you a son-of-a-bitch.” She and
Betty have been fast friends ever since.